Words...

The power of words. Undermined.

We tend to forget the fact that when we speak what we say could either have a positive or negative effect on the other party. It all comes down to what we say.

I watched a film today and the main thing that stuck out to me was the fact that one guy turned around and hated the friends he had grown to love simply because of a few words said by his father. Underestimating the power behind the words that we CHOOSE to use when speaking to others has to be the one of the biggest mistakes that we can make.We are always faced with a choice and the things we say do not fall short of our ability to choose what we should or could say.

Words have the power to break someone and push them towards things they never even thought they were capable of. The movie, of course, has its exaggerated moments but the facts remain that the words “you’re an embarrassment...they are not your friends” possessed the power to create a murderer. It may just take one word to push someone over the edge.

Be careful of what we say.

Be mindful of what we say.

Be loving with what we say.

Simple.

Liberation

Freeing my mind to just run for miles and miles has so many benefits, it allows my mind to explore things that have probably remained shut for the longest period of time, for example a talent which has been suppressed by the biggest critic, myself, liberating my mind allows me to unlock mysteries within myself, allowing myself to find out who I am by simply thinking, I can determine who I have been, who I am going to be and who I am at the minute, I have the ability to assess myself and wisely pick out the things that need to change, I notice the small things that I would normally put off, for example my God given talent which has been dormant for days, months,  years, its finally unlocked, I find out that my mind is a chest of creativity, treasure that can never be stolen, priceless, I acknowledge that my creativity defies the contraventions of grammar, structure and formation, as I type, each comma represents a breath I take, my mind freely spills through my hands onto the keyboard, imprinting onto a visionary white sheet, my mind is free, free to express itself in anyway, either through poetry or articles, explaining my innermost feelings and liberating my views, my mind is truly liberated, free to think up masterpieces, free to think up metaphorical punch lines, I have the ability to think my entire future into reality, one day I will be a wife, mother and aunt, one day I say and mean three words that make me cringe, ‘I love you’, one day i'll become who my mind allows me to be, one day...

I Am Beautiful II

Over the past two weeks I have had ample time to sit down and assess the past five months of my life. The past five months that I believed was idle. The past five months which grew more and more annoying with each day that passed. The past five months that I failed to acknowledge that God was trying to show me something. Something that would’ve been made clear in the space of a few days took me five months and two weeks. However, to God be the glory, I can share what I have learnt.

In the first week of my two week period, I went through a phrase of accepting that I was beautiful and appreciating God’s evident work in me. This was the physical stage, the time where I was forced to understand what it means to adore the woman staring back at me in the mirror. The first week inspired my ‘I Am Beautiful’ piece. This second week which is coming to an end has made me focus on the inner beauty.

One thing I had to painfully realise was that in looking beautiful, if I did not have the ‘beautiful’ character to match it was all pointless. For example, wearing the best attire but having a filthy attitude. I had to sit and think what image I preferred to have. It was between being hollow, having all the physical attributes but empty inside or being filled, a lovely character radiating on the physical me. Please don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with looking nice, there is nothing wrong with making an effort but the problem comes in when your main focus becomes looking nice rather than being a better person.

I had to learn that what was most important was your heart. The following scriptures spoke volumes to me:

“What matters is not your outer appearance – the styling of your hair, the jewellery you wear, the cut of your clothes – but your inner disposition.” (1 Peter 3:3 MSG)

For the longest period of my life I put so much emphasis on how I looked on the outside and failed to even care about my inner disposition. I didn’t care about whether what I may have said may have had an adverse effect on someone but I cared about the next set of shoes or the type of mascara I would wear. I worried more about the outside forgetting that beauty comes from within. It was and is a process which takes time but the first step was to have the will to go through it.

“Your beauty should come from within you – the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that will never be destroyed and is special to God.” (1 Peter 3:4 NCV)

Once we allow God to perfect the beauty within us nothing can ever come our way and stop us from saying I AM BEAUTIFUL!

x

I Am Beautiful

Have you ever looked in the mirror and hated the woman or man that stares back at you? Have you ever looked around and felt that other people are better looking than you? Have you ever felt that your weakness lies in your inability to acknowledge the beauty within? Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.  The feeling of hating what looks back at you in the mirror is incredibly familiar for me and I thought the best way to help others is to share my experience. This was initially meant to be a poem but I just couldn’t seem to fit the words into stanzas and metaphors which gracefully paint the vision behind it.

I went through a period where crying seemed the only possible solution to the disgust I felt toward myself. Speaking to people never seemed enough because I already knew what the people were bound to say. They were going to reassure me that I was not as terrible as I thought I was. They would try to convince me that I was in fact so much more beautiful than I knew. Whatever. It was weird because there was nothing anybody could say or do; I was set in my ways. Tears were my only consolation.

During this period I felt so alone and miserable, I would have moody outbursts and just shut myself away from the world. I had hit my rock bottom and if I’m sincerely honest I’m only moving out of this period now.  Isaiah 45:9 (NLT) reads “What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.” When I read this I realised that the only possible answer to my problem was myself. I had to come the realisation that I had brought misery upon myself by challenging the work of my Creator. As some would know the Bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, it also states that we are made in the image of God, but for me knowing these scriptures of by heart was not enough. Isaiah 45:9 was enough. It was the missing link. For the longest time I had found myself wondering why God made me the way He did. Why did I have to be so tall? Why didn’t I have a smile like hers? Why did I lack those mesmerizing eyes that other girls had? Isaiah taught me that sorrow lies in wait for someone with questions as such. Not only did I undermine the power of God but I demeaned Him as the most creative Creator ever.

Dreaming and wishing that you look like someone else is an insult to God. I had to try and see things from His perspective. If I had spent time creating a poem and then the poem was to turn around and say that its stands for nothing, its rubbish, it would hurt. Immediately I had to correct myself and realise that God had spent time on me to make me as I am. He created me with all my flaws but He considers me beautiful regardless of what the world may think therefore its only right to see myself in the same light. Each person comes with their own deficiencies and incapacities but all in all each of us stand as individual masterpieces. We all illustrate the mind of God and we all show the creativity of God.

So ladies and gentlemen, what am I getting at? In short you are beautiful! The joy that comes from accepting and believing this is far better than the sorrow that follows from believing that you are less than you are. Begin to believe it. Begin to profess it. I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!

Hugs and kisses...

What Type of Woman Are You?

When a dear friend threw this question at me, I stared blankly into her eyes expecting a second question that could possibly make sense of this one. I was unsure of what angle to take the question. For a brief moment I was totally lost, I could not seem to conjure up the words to do myself the justice of explaining what type of woman I was. I got home and pondered on that moment because it left a scar in my memory, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Randomly, I decided to think up the positives about myself and weighed them out with the negatives. I racked my brain until I gave myself a headache.

What am I getting at? If you were to be posed with such a question how would you answer it? At first, it seems as if the question is not one that requires a huge amount of thinking, quite the contrary. This question demands a lot of thinking! The answer must and will sum up the kind of woman you are to a person who is either simply interested or a potential suitor.

How do you answer or find the answer? Question. For me to finally get an answer to this question, I spent an evening and a morning thinking about it (for others it will not take that long – I just wanted to be 100% sure). Defining ‘me’ was not a chance to blow some words into the air but an opportunity to search deep within myself to find a simple sentence to fully envelop what type of woman I was. I wanted the answer to actually relate to who I was, I wanted to answer confidently and I wanted my answer to be so true that the evidence was in my characteristics. 

I had to be honest with myself and search deep within myself. This included looking at the things I hated about myself, some of which had gone unnoticed for such a long time until this question was pushed to the forefront of my mind.  The worst thing to do is lie to yourself, as my dear mother always says, ‘you are deceiving no one else but yourself’. Your answer should make you smile, you answer should bring you joy when your down and your answer should be something that pushes you to press on in tough situations.

Such a question is an opportunity as opposed to being a trick question. It’s a chance to compliment yourself with the positives of your character and face the challenges of the negative aspects of who you are. Rushing is not a prerequisite to the question of who you are as a woman because the answer you effortlessly utter out of your mouth should hit the ears of your receiver and truly paint a picture of who you are. I finally came up with what I considered a justifying answer; I am a woman of principle. Clearly, now, my question to you is what type of woman are you?

Super Sensitive

Over the years, the word ‘humility’ has been added to my ever so limited vocabulary. To my current understanding it is a quality of being humble, which in turn means neither proud nor arrogant. The issue I seem to come across a lot is the problem of defining one’s self as ‘humble’. The common phrase that follows after describing yourself in that light is: ‘how can a humble person say they are humble?’. Sorry? Since when was it abominable for someone to believe that they are well and truly humble?

Please correct me if I’m wrong but my logic only stretches to the understanding that the tone in which something is said determines what is meant. Don’t get me wrong, some may say that they are humble but their actions and their choice of words prove otherwise. My issue is however, if someone possesses the traits of humility, when asked they describe themselves as humble, they automatically are no longer humble?

To me words are toys, they can be played with to portray the mind of the speaker or writer. A lay man on the street would be able to acknowledge someone boasting and being arrogant as opposed to a person who truly believes they are humble. The same way lego can be put together to build a build a miniature house, pulled apart and put together again to form a car so words can be transformed to mean different things. Personally, I believe that the word ‘humility’ has been over-sensitised. We have made the word more than it is. Simply, as the dictionary states, it means that someone is neither proud nor arrogant.

I seem to believe that anyone who honestly believes they are humble should be free to use the term without being crucified for their beliefs of who they are. Its just the same for someone who believes that they are generally a happy person, it cannot be said that only an outsider can tell them such. If they believe that about themselves then so be it.

A New Leaf...

Its been such a long time since I've blogged but not since I have written something. As of recent I have been using Facebook as my blogging account but now I am back. I will update all my most recent writings on here and I promise to be a bit more open about my thoughts...